Don’t give up! Please stay in the queue!

Feeling low

I'm nearing the end of my second year as a self-employed artist and if you were to ask me to reflect on how I think I'm doing, depending on the day, I would come up with different answers. Which is probably true for all of us. There are so many different variables that affect our moods on a day to day basis. When you start feeling more negative however it's good to answer some questions first: Did I even have enough to eat today? Did I have enough to drink? Did I socialize and talk to people? When was the last time I even left the house? (This one is a big one for me, working from home.) Did I get stuck doom scrolling for hours again?

It's the sort of life admin we all know about and yet neglect a lot of the time. So before assessing your life try and answer those questions and see how you feel afterwards. So best to finish off that glass of water that’s been sitting on your desk for the last 2 hours. Yeah, I see you.

More likely than not, after doing the life admin you will end up with a clearer and more positive head than before. On the worst sort of days however you will still find yourself in that downwards spiral you started your day with. (First of all as a little caveat, just letting you know that it's okay to feel like that. It’s okay to check out for the day and have a nap.) The self-doubt creeps in and your heads prompts you with the horrendous questions: What are you doing with your life? Should you even be an artist? Maybe you should just give up. (This applies to any profession, hope or dream, not just being an artist.)

You dream about an art career but you get told by many of your immediate surroundings that being an artist is a pipe dream. That it's only something for the happy few, something unobtainable for "normal people". I can tell you with absolute certainty that this is a flat out lie. Art is literally everywhere. We live and breathe art everyday, even the people who proclaim art being something of a luxury. From the logo design on your pudding cup and the giant billboards you see in capital cities to the cute little art prints you choose to decorate your office with. And news flash: all those things are made by people. (Let's not get into the can of worms that is AI art right now.) So don't let people get into your head and tell you it's a competitive world out there. Cause the truth is, it doesn't have to be like that. There are art jobs out there for EVERYONE. Now, you might not dream about designing the art for pudding cups and that's okay. I'm just here to tell you that you that having a career in art is obtainable for everyone.

Staying in the queue

So how you exactly get there, isn't a one stop sort of answer and will be different for everyone! The only thing that will be the same, is that you have to start making art. Like right now! Doesn't matter if it's good or bad, just make it and keep making it whenever you can.

Don’t burn yourself out however, just make it a consistent habit. Don't have the dream project you always wanted? Then make art for it as if you had that job. For example: I thought it be cool to make posters for events. So I started Prente Art Market and now I can do exactly that! Mind you, I don't get paid for it. Prente at the moment is completely non profit. But who says I won't get a job later because of this exact poster.

Now that you are making art right, left and center, here comes the (not so) easy part: all you have to do is 'stay in the queue'. This is something Game Designer Bradley Smith shared with me when we first met and it's still something I cling to years later. Seems simplistic but incredibly insightful on deeper reflection.

The core idea behind it is that as long as you practice making art, your skill level will grow 'till eventually you hit a point where people won't have a choice but to notice you.

Patience is a virtue

We have all heard of the proverb: 'Patience is a virtue'. This is incredibly true for achieving your goals. So here is where it gets a bit tricky: You have to be patient! This can be incredibly tough. Especially when you don't have the luxury, time and or money wise, to hope someone will notice you in time. This is the exact reason why loads of artists have part-time jobs on the side. And there is nothing to be ashamed about that. It’s just how it goes for the most of us.

When it get's hard and it will get hard, stick with it! Don't ever leave the queue. We all know balancing long hours of your part-time job with making time for creating art can be tough.. There will be moments in time where the self-doubt will start creeping in and you will feel like giving up. In those moments especially it's adamant that you keep trying!! That's the moment the universe will test you to see if you want it enough. It’s a moment where you are truly growing, even though you will not notice it yourself.

Maybe you just get lucky

Sometimes you are at the right place at the right time and you go viral. That doesn't happen very often, but it can. You could cross your fingers every time you make a post on Instagram or Tik Tok (for the young kids out there. Oof now I feel old) until you turn blue but inevitably you have no control over those things. So it's best not to take that into account.

Yet it happens to other people all the time. Those people in that moment get to skip the queue, partially or entirely. And boy,... does the green eyed monster rear it's head at those times. It's an ugly feeling. One, I myself am not comfortable with yet. 'Cause sometimes you can't help but ask: "Why them and not me?" It happens to the best of us and it's okay to feel, just don't let it knock you down into submission where you end up wallowing in self-pity for days.

But to actually answer the question: "Why them and not me?" It's tough, because in actuality there are probably a number or reasons why. Yet we can look to philosophy to answer this one with Occam's razor where the simplest explanation is usually the best one: It just might be you aren't ready for it yet. Or how The Smiths put it: "You just haven't earned it yet, baby!"

In that moment the good old universe is telling you to pace and prepare yourself for what is yet to come. Take the time to study harder and get your act together, but also to rest! You might be finding yourself in the eye of the storm right now!! Right before all hell breaks loose and you are swamped with work.

I hope this helps people who are struggling with self-doubt. Every once in a while we need someone to tell us to keep going. I hope I got to do that for you today!

Much love,
C